


If Our Love is Wrong (then I don't ever want to be right)

by alwaysbringbackup_03



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, New Beginnings, Overprotective Alex Danvers, Protective Lena Luthor, Revelations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-23 05:16:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20002918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysbringbackup_03/pseuds/alwaysbringbackup_03
Summary: What might have happened if Lena found out about Kara's secret at the beginning of Season 4, instead of at the end of it.OrKara and Lena have a heart to heart.(And please, for the sake of the story, pretend that Lena and James aren't a thing.)The summary kind of sucks. Please just give it a fair shake, before you decide you hate it.





	If Our Love is Wrong (then I don't ever want to be right)

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this about a year ago, and came across it when I was looking through some of my own stuff. (At some point, I must've decided that it wasn't good enough to post. But now, I've decided that at the very least it should see the light of day.) Whether people like it or hate it is a separate issue. But I felt like I should at least put it out there.

Lena couldn’t help but let out a weighted breath, as she arrived at Kara’s apartment for the first time since her shocking revelation all those weeks ago. And looking back, Lena isn’t exactly sure just how she’d come to be there. One minute she’d been giving her speech to a ballroom full of National City’s wealthiest and most affluent individuals, and the next she’d been hopping into the back of a company car, with her heels and a bottle of wine clutched in her hand. She’d given the driver Kara’s address, before she had a chance to rethink her decision. After all, she thought it was time that things between them came to some sort of resolution. She couldn’t handle all of insecurity she felt anymore. She needed answers. And unfortunately, the only person that could give Lena those answers was the very same who had caused all of her pain. 

She’d been avoiding Kara. Lena would be the first to admit that her behavior these last few weeks might have been just a little bit childish. But she just didn’t know how to face Kara. She couldn’t help but wonder _why_? Why did Kara feel the need to keep this secret from her? Didn’t Kara trust her? Had they really not resolved what happened all those months ago with Reign? Did Kara still fear that Lena was harboring something that could kill her? Given what they’d been through, Lena would have thought she’d proved herself a true friend. 

Lena just didn’t know how to feel. A part of her almost wished that she’d never figured out Kara’s secret all those weeks ago. Maybe it would have been better for them if she hadn’t. Still, there’s no going back now. The only way for them now, is to go forward. Lena just wished she knew what path to take. 

Lena felt all of her nerves catch up with her, as she laid sight on Kara’s door for the first time in more than a month. With tentative and almost apprehensive movements, she lifted a hand to the door, and rapped heavily on the metal door with her knuckles. She was surprised when the door swung open.

But the sight she was met with, was not one she expected. 

She thinks she recognized the disheveled man who answered the door, but she couldn't be sure. 

Lena has no choice, but to try and make sense of it. 

"Hello," he greeted her, "Can I help you?"

“Umm…?” Lena looked at him with confusion knitting her brows together. “I’m sorry. I'm looking for Kara. This is still Kara Danver’s place, isn’t it?”

“Sure is,” he nodded. “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m being rude. I’m Br-“ Brainy caught himself at the last moment. “Uh…Quiri. Quiri Dox. I’m an old friend of Kara’s.” 

“Lena Luthor,” Lena held out a hand. “And actually I think that we have met once or twice before…just not officially. You work at the DEO, if I remember correctly.” 

“Oh,” he swallowed, “Right. You helped the DEO stop Reign and the Worldkillers.” 

“So, Quiri,” Lena repeated. “That’s unique for a first name. Is it foreign?”

“I guess you could say that, yeah,” Quiri laughed.

“So, is Kara home?” Lena said as she shifted uneasily under his studious gaze. “And do you think she would mind it terribly if I came in? I was hoping to talk to her.”

“Uh…” Quiri hesitated. Lena felt her heart speed up just a little bit as he looked back over his shoulder at something.

It was then that Lena noticed the raised voices coming from Kara’s apartment.

“Damn it, Kara!” Alex hissed, “Hold _still_! Stop being such a baby for Christ’s sake.”

“Well, maybe if you weren’t being so rough with me, then I wouldn’t be squirming around so much!” Kara shot back. “Oww!” Lena heard Kara yelp. Most of the sounds were muffled, but something was definitely going on inside.

“You know,” Alex threatened her sister, “The next time that you insist on having me patch you up at home, I’m pawning you off on someone else at the DEO. I’ll let you be someone else’s problem, for once.”

“You _wouldn’t_ ,” Kara’s voice held a hint of a threat to it.

“Uh…” Lena hesitated, looking at Quiri in genuine puzzlement, “Is now a bad time?”

“Sort of,” Brainy laughed. “Although... they’ve been like this for pretty much as long as I’ve known them.” 

“Son of a bitch!” Kara shouted, startling Lena just a little bit. She’d never heard Kara swear before. “Could you try to make it hurt just a little less? _Please_?!”

“No!” Alex denied her. “Maybe it’ll teach you to be a little more careful next time.”

“It’s not _bloody_ _likely_ ,” Kara spoke, and then chortled with laughter at her own joke. “Get it? Bloody?” Kara sounded genuinely pleased with herself over that one. Lena wasn’t sure just what was supposed to be funny about it. Lena faintly heard Alex’s accompanying groan.

Lena finally had enough of being stuck outside.

Lena reached over Quiri’s shoulder, and pushed the door open wider. She gasped, as she laid eyes on the two occupants of the apartment at the same time.

“No, wait! You’re not supposed to go in there!” Brainy cried out in a panic as he tried to catch Lena by the arm. But she shrugged out of his grasp, and took several determined steps into the apartment. 

Kara was currently lying face-down on the couch, in a compromising position, with Alex hunched over her. Lena’s eyes were instantly drawn to Alex’s steady hands, as the elder Danvers meticulously worked. At first, Lena thought that Alex was simply mending a tear in the fabric of Kara’s dress, but she quickly realized her assumptions to be incorrect. 

“Ah!” Kara hissed in a sharp breath, as Alex tugged on a string held in her other hand. It wasn’t until Lena actually looked at Kara, that she had any idea of what was going on, or why Kara sounded like she was in pain. Lena felt her stomach drop as she realized for the first time just what had Alex’s undivided attention.

Kara let out a long, tense breath as Alex went back in with the needle, and Lena winced in sympathy. Kara’s arms were crossed underneath her head, with Kara’s head currently buried in one of the pillows. She watched as the muscles of Kara’s back involuntarily tensed from the pain.

“Oh!” Lena gasped, causing both women to turn towards her. Lena actually felt frozen as Kara’s gaze fell upon her for the first time. 

“Damn it, Brainy!” Alex called out, “I told you to man the door!”

“Sorry, Alex,” Brainy looked somewhat sheepish. 

“What were my exact words?” Alex snapped.

“That no one was to be allowed inside,” Brainy replied. 

“In his defense,” Lena spoke up. “He did try to stop me. I was just too quick for him.”

 _I don't know how I should say it_  
_In my mind, it's every word_  
_That they don't wanna hear_  
_I don't know how they might take it_  
_Maybe you can take the pressure_  
_And make it disappear_  
_Throw out the inhibition_  
_You make me feel a feeling that I've never felt before_  
_I don't know if they're gonna like it_  
_But that only makes me want it more_

Lena took this opportunity to study Kara at length. The younger Danvers looked like hell, if Lena was being completely honest. And it was all in the small details. Kara had a thin sheen of sweat on her face that glistened just a little bit under the lights in her apartment. Lena could tell that Kara was feeling restless, mainly due to the way that Kara’s hair looked just a little unkempt and tangled in several places. And there were bruises starting to form on Kara's typically flawless skin. She could see shades and colors that she swore that she'd never seen before. Hues of greens, blues, purples, and even red, were coloring Kara's skin in non sensical patterns; much like that of a sunset. But it wasn't beautiful like a sunset was. Instead it was almost horrific.

Kara sounded a little breathless, as she raked in breaths at odd intervals. Lena could even detect a tightening in Kara’s shoulders, as she fought the discomfort of Alex’s ministrations.

Where Lena detected overwhelming evidence of a struggle, however, was in Kara’s state of dress.

Kara’s dress from the night’s charity gala looked to be in tatters, which was a shame. Lena had fallen in love with the dress from afar. And the truth of it is, that she hadn’t even gotten to see what it looked like up close. Unfortunately, she realized now that she wasn’t ever going to be able to appreciate it in detail. The dress was a lost cause.

“Uh, hey, Lena,” Kara greeted her.

"Hey," Lena greeted in turn, albeit rather awkwardly. It seemed like it had been eons since they last spoke.

“So... it's been a while," Kara murmured, as she made eye contact with Lena. "What's brought you by? I thought you were still at the gala.”

 _R_ _eally?_ Lena thought as she arched an eyebrow.

Were they really going to ignore the elephant in the room?

Was she supposed to pretend that everything was fine? Because if that's what Kara expected of her, then she had another thing coming.

This whole situation she'd walked into, was a bit of a shock to Lena. And she couldn't just _ignore it_.

"Really?" Lena finally voiced the thought, with a hint of skepticism in her voice. " _That's_ what you want to talk about right now?"

"Lena," Kara sighed heavily, sounding extremely defeated. Lena could tell that Kara was much too exhausted for a fight right now.

"No," Lena shook her head, putting up a fight. “Perhaps I’m being a bit dramatic right now. But it _seems_ like this is one of those times where it’s _okay_ to be dramatic. I mean Jesus, Kara! What in the hell _happened to you_?” Lena asked a moment later. "You have a huge gash in your back! And you're practically covered in bruises. How are you so calm right now?"

"Lena? I'm going to need to you calm down a little," Alex cut in. "Because you're starting to have an affect on my patient. And I can't have that."

Lena took a deep breath and tried again. She sounded calm as she said, " _I'm sorry._ " Then, "It's just.... I'm worried about you, and I - I need to know."

“I was…uh… mugged on my way home tonight,” Kara replied.

"Mugged," Lena repeated slowly. "You were _mugged_ ," She dragged the word out, letting it linger on her tongue. She knew she sounded skeptical. Probably because she _was_. 

Kara was a Super for crying out loud, and it angered her that Kara would try and lie to her now. Lena felt her blood begin to boil just a little bit under the implications.

 _Why?_ she silently wondered. Why couldn't Kara just tell her the truth? Because Lena had had enough of the lying.

"More like attacked, but yeah," Queri cut in. "She was ambushed on her way home tonight, and was assaulted. They beat her pretty badly. It's lucky that Kara was able to stay conscious long enough to call Alex. Or she could still be in that alley." Lena felt her stomach sink as she fixated on some of the bruises again. Lena swallowed thickly over the sudden lump in her throat, as she imagined what kind of assault could have left Kara in this state. Kara had been badly beaten.

Lena suddenly felt her protective nature take over. She would give anything to get her hands on the people who had done this to Kara. Because once she got her hands on them, they would never think about harming another living soul so long as they lived. She would put the fear of god into them. After all, it's something she was good at, as a Luthor. She could be absolutely vicious and cut-throat when the situation warranted it. And she's pretty sure this situation warranted.

Who in the hell could even think of doing something like this to Kara? Kara was the sweetest and kindest person that has ever lived.

Finally, Lena seemed to find her voice again.

“I know you've probably heard this already, but… You should really get checked out,” Lena told her. Her brows wrinkled adorably in frustration and worry as she took a step toward the couch. Lena swallowed thickly as she took in the amount of blood that was soaked into the fabric of the couch beneath Kara's body.

“Nah,” Kara shook her head nonchalantly, “Alex has this covered. Don’t you, Alex?”

“Kara, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you have a _six-inch gash_ in your back,” Lena told her. “You should really go have some imaging done in order to make sure there isn’t any internal damage.”

"Alex went to medical school," Kara said, as if she felt the need to remind her. "And she's got the steadiest hands of anyone I know. I wasn't about to go to a hospital and spend thousands of dollars in medical bills, when I _know_ that Alex can take care of me."

What she doesn't say is, ' _I can't go to a regular hospital, because I'm an alien and it will raise too many questions.'_

"Kara-" Lena couldn't help but hate the way her voice came out, when she said her name - as if there was far too much feeling beneath it. "It looks bad," Lena murmured gently. 

“Hey, if you really think that _this_ is bad, you should see the other guy,” Kara joked. “Actually, come to think of it? You probably don’t want to do that. I'm pretty sure that Alex shot him.”

“Kara, I _swear to god_ ,” Alex bit out with a bit of an edge to her tone, “Stop. Stop talking right now!”

“What!? _Why?”_

“Because you should not be flapping your mouth right now,” Alex grumbled. “This isn’t something you should be _joking about_. He could’ve killed you. The knife that he had… it could’ve _killed you_.”

“Relax,” Kara sighed. “I had everything under control.”

“Kar-“

“ _Please_! I wish you wouldn’t worry about me so much,” Kara said, "I'm fine, Alex."

Then, "Besides, you’ve got enough to worry about without adding me into the mix. Now that you're the Director of the DEO, you've gotta stop worrying about me so much." 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Alex said, “How many times have we gone over this? You’re my sister, Kara. And I’m _always_ going to worry about you. Whether you want me to or not!”

Lena watched worriedly, as Alex finished stitching Kara up.

As she watched, she bit her bottom lip almost hard enough to draw blood. Her teeth ground together harder and harder with each sound of pain or displeasure that Kara made.

Lena couldn't take it.

Which was funny considering how many times that Lena wished her ill over the last several weeks. But there was something about seeing it firsthand that absolutely destroyed her.

Probably because she knew in her heart of hearts that Kara didn't deserve the pain. Kara was the sweetest and kindest person that Lena had ever had the privilege of knowing.

And despite all of Lena's worst fears of believing that all of Kara's kindness and affection towards her had been a front for something else, Lena also knew that it wasn't. That kind of love could not be faked. It left her with one possible conclusion. Kara genuinely cared about her and always had. She wasn't trying to take advantage of Lena - wasn't trying to hurt her. If _anything_ , she'd been trying to protect Lena by keeping the secret. 

Lena watched helplessly, wanting more than anything to be able to take Kara's pain away. But all the while, she knew that there was nothing she could do to alleviate it.

Slowly, the gaping wound was closed. When Alex finally finished, she pulled the last knot tight, and snipped off the excess with her scissors. Alex spread some more anti-septic on it, and then covered it with non-stick gauze, and taped a regular trauma dressing over it.

As Alex slowly climbed to her feet, Kara’s hand reached out and closed around Alex’s wrist.

“Hey,” Kara’s voice was somewhat meek. “Look, I know that I didn’t make it easy to take care of me. But thank you. I really appreciate everything that you did for me tonight.” 

Lena watched with tears in her eyes as Alex sank down, and pressed her face into Kara’s neck. The position was awkward, but it didn’t seem to matter to either of the Danvers sisters. She gave Kara a squeeze. And Lena felt the ferocity of the gesture. Alex had been scared. She'd probably been halfway out of her mind when she'd found Kara in that alleyway.

“Just don’t _ever_ scare me like that again,” Alex spoke into her shoulder.

“I won’t,” Kara promised. “This was a one time deal. I _swear it._ ”

“Alright,” Alex sighs. “As much as I want to stay, Brainy and I should really get back to the DEO.”

“Go,” Kara urged her. “I’ll... I'll be fine.” As Alex straightened, she locked eyes with Lena. And Alex wordlessly pleaded with her for several moments, before Lena was able to understand what she wanted. 

“Go,” Lena urged her. “I’ve got this." Then, "I'll take good care of her, Alex, I promise.” 

“Thank you, Lena,” Alex smiled, "I knew I could count on you." Lena waited anxiously, watching as Alex gathered her things, before she and Brainy eventually walked to the door. Seconds, later, and the door was shutting with a soft click, with the two of them outside.

Lena turned back towards the couch, in order to find Kara in motion.

Slowly, almost gingerly, Kara shifted into a seated position on the couch.

Tentatively, Lena walked over, and carefully lowered herself down next to her. She was especially careful not to jostle the couch too much with her actions, for fear of hurting Kara.

Lena held out a hand between them, and Kara took it within her own, threading their fingers together. 

“So…” Lena said with a smile tugging at her lips, “A mugger, huh?”

_'Cause I'm nobody's but yours_

_If it's me_  
_And if it's you_  
_And if our love is wrong_  
_Then I don't ever wanna be right_  
_I don't ever wanna be right_  
_If it's real_  
_And if it's true_  
_And if our love is wrong_  
_Then I don't ever wanna be right_  
_I don't ever wanna be right_

“Oh Rao,” Kara groaned as her head fell on Lena’s shoulder. “You don’t believe me, do you? Not even _remotely.”_

"No," Lena answered her honestly. "No, I don't."

"Lena-"

"It's okay," Lena told her reassuringly. Then, she said, “You know? It's funny. I actually came over here to yell at you,” Lena told her. “For skipping out on the event earlier this evening. But I…. I have this sneaking suspicion that maybe you were in the middle of something a bit more _important_.”

“Lee, I – “ Kara’s next vocalizations came out as an array of cracks and squeaks.

_Oh oh, yeah yeah  
Oh oh , yeah I just want you to be mine_

“Shh…” Lena silenced her, as she turned and pressed a lingering kiss to Kara’s temple. “I know you feel like you have to explain." She paused, "And maybe several months ago I would have demanded an explanation, but right now? Right now, you don’t have to say anything.”

“Lena,” Kara sighs, “But what about… I mean, what gave it away?” 

“It was two things actually. The first thing that clued me in to your identity, was something that Supergirl said to Mercy,” Lena swallowed, "She said that ‘The Luthor name doesn’t deserve Lena.’ “And Supergirl sounded so utterly like you in that moment that it… it made me question things. The second clue I got, was when Alex called to ask me for my help after Mercy and Agent Liberty released Kryptonite into the atmosphere. Alex...She tried to hide it, but she was so scared she was about to lose you. The way she looked at Supergirl? It left little doubt in my mind that you and Supergirl were the same person. And when I looked back at several key moments of the last year, it became blatantly obvious.” Lena laughed. “Imagine my surprise when I realized that it wasn’t some strange dream. You actually risked your secret for me. You flew me to the DEO in your civilian clothes in order to save me when I was poisoned with Cyanide.”

 _Why would I need their permission?_  
_Skin and bones, I'm only human_  
_It's in my DNA_  
_Suffocating just to fit in_  
_Why do I care what people say?_

_'Cause I'm nobody's but yours_

“I thought when you found out that you would be-“ 

“Pissed?” Lena finished for her. “Oh, _believe me,_ when I first realized it, I was absolutely _livid_ with you. Which is precisely _why_ I’ve been distant the past couple of weeks. But I also realized something else along the way,” Lena breathed. 

“And what’s that?” Kara asked. Part of her was afraid to find out the answer to that question. 

“That I can’t imagine my life without you in it, Kara,” Lena admitted. “The fact is, I don’t want to. _I love you_.”

Lena felt her heart skip a beat as Kara shook her head, and pulled away.

 _If it's me_  
_And if it's you_  
_And if our love is wrong_  
_Then I don't ever wanna be right_  
_I don't ever wanna be right_  
_If it's real_  
_And if it's true_  
_And if our love is wrong_  
_Then I don't ever wanna be right_  
_I don't ever wanna be right_

“What’s going on? What did I say?” Lena asked.

“I…. I’m glad you don’t hate me,” Kara said, with a tearful laugh. “I mean, Rao, you have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that, but… but part of me almost thinks that it would be better for you, if you did.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“You think that _this_ happened while I was Supergirl,” Kara said as she gestured to her back. "But it _didn’t_ … Rao, how I wish it had, but it didn’t.”

“What?” Lena felt the air sucked straight out of her lungs. “Kara, what are you saying? Someone attacked _you_?” 

“This? This happened after I stepped out of the gala,” Kara swallowed, “Apparently, my latest article is making waves throughout the community, and not of the good sort. The truth is, I – I thought that I had this responsibility to _act_. I thought that I could use my influential voice as a journalist to change the world. But instead, it turns out that I've made myself an enemy of the state. I think I underestimated just how much people dislike aliens – how much xenophobia and racism there is out there. I’m talking about _death threats_ , Lena. There are people out there who think Kara Danvers should be wiped from the face of the earth.”

“No,” Lena’s protest sounds eerily hollow. “No, I won’t _let them_. I would never let anyone hurt-”

_Oh oh, yeah yeah  
I just want you to be mine_

“You think you can stop it?” Kara asked her in a derisive tone. “Rao, I love that you think you can. I love you all the more for wanting to protect me…for wanting to keep me safe. But I can’t do this to you anymore. I’m…I’m a flipping Superhero, Lena, and _I couldn’t stop it._ ”

“Kara,” Lena’s voice feels thick.

“The worst thing is... What happened to me tonight? It isn’t even my worst fear,” Kara laughs.

“Then what is?” Lena asked. 

“It’s what will happen to the people I care about, if _they_ ever find out who I am. Because if they ever find out the truth? If they ever figure out that Kara Danvers is actually Supergirl? They won’t care _who_ they hurt. They will come after _you_ , Alex, and _every_ _other_ _person_ who has ever been associated with my name.”

“Kara-“

“Because of that - I... I have to go away for a while,” Kara said finally, and Lena felt everything shatter. Her heart honestly felt like it might stop, and never start up again.

“The sentiment that is being spread right now, is just too dangerous,” Kara explained, as if Lena didn’t already know, “With Marsdin stepping down, and the new President taking office…this country is on the brink of war. There are a lot of people that believe Aliens should be forced to leave. And I have a feeling we’re about to see the nation pick up where Cadmus left off. Aliens are about to start disappearing in large, unprecedented numbers.”

“And so what?” Lena spoke angrily, “You’re just going to beat them to the punch and leave?”

“No,” Kara’s jaw clenched determinedly. “No, I’m going to fight. But I can’t do it from _here_.” Then. “Not when I know that I’d be placing all of your lives at risk. Lee, I need to know you’re safe. Which is _why_ I need you do to me one last favor.”

“And what’s that?” Lena bit out.

“After I leave? I need you to distance yourself from me,” Kara’s voice trembled. “And you have my permission to say whatever it is that you need to say, in order to do so. Just do it. _Please_.”

“No,” Lena said stubbornly.

“Lena,” Kara voice was full of desperation

“No!” Lena said stubbornly. “I _won’t_. I don’t believe any of the things that are being said, Kara." 

“Then lie if you have to,” Kara begged her. "For your sake, you have to distance yourself from me."

“I don’t think you understand what you’re asking me to do,” Lena breathed. She felt tears prick her eyes as she let herself experience the pain and agony of losing Kara, perhaps for good. Lena felt Kara’s thumbs swipe gently at her cheeks. " _Someone_ should stick up for what is right! Even if it has... to be someone like me!”

“On the contrary,” Kara breathes sadly, “I know _exactly_ what I’m asking of you. And I think that’s what makes this all the more difficult.”

“Then don’t ask it of me,” Lena begs, “ _Please._ I – I love you, Kara.” It is then that Kara leans forward and presses her forehead to Lena's.

“Oh, Lena. I love you too,” Kara’s words elicited a shiver in Lena’s body as she feels them on her lips. They’re little more than a wisp of air, but they cut through her like the most powerful gust of wind in a blizzard. 

Lena reaches up to the back of Kara’s neck and holds her there. Lena feels Kara's forehead pressing gently against her own. Kara nudges her repeatedly, rocking back and forth against her. Lena sighs in contentment. She's just happy to be this close to Kara. And yet, she still wants - no needs, more. Using her hands at the back of Kara's neck, Lena pulls.

If Kara’s really about to leave - If she’s really about to vacate Lena’s world for good, then Lena’s going to let herself take this one last thing from her. Lena is pretty sure her brain short circuits as she feels Kara’s lips press against her own. It's more than she could have ever hoped for. It feels like coming home after a long time away. She's acutely aware of Kara - as if the blonde is an extension of her own body. It's hard for her to break the kiss. But Lena pulls back for a fraction of a moment.

"Is this okay?" she asks Kara, in a soft voice.

"Yes," Kara whispers. And this time Kara is the one pulling her into the kiss.

Lena closes her eyes, and lets herself luxuriate in the feeling of it for several rapturous moments, before she starts to move against Kara. She feels Kara respond in kind to the insistent pressure of Lena’s lips against her own.

Lena honestly isn’t sure who is in charge as they both exchange a series of kisses. But soon enough, Kara is taking control. She carefully turns Lena and eases her down against the cushions. Lena moans as she feels Kara’s hands at her hips. And soon enough those hands are tugging Lena's blouse from her pants and are migrating under Lena's shirt in order to press against smooth, heated skin. Lena’s hands drift into Kara’s long hair, her fingers tangling in its soft silky strands, as her tongue pushes into Kara’s mouth for the first time.

What happens next seems almost playful as Lena’s tongue chases Kara’s around the confines of Kara’s mouth. It’s so _different_ than kissing James had been. Lena finds herself aching for more. She moans as she feels Kara’s thigh slot itself between her legs.

But just as suddenly as it all started, it stops.The kiss breaks. And Lena is left begging for more.

 _If it's me_  
_And if it's you_  
_And if our love is wrong_  
_Then I don't ever wanna be right_  
_I don't ever wanna be right_  
_If it's real_  
_And if it's true_  
_And if our love is wrong_  
_Then I don't ever wanna be right_ _  
_ _I don't ever wanna be right_

“Kara,” Lena says breathlessly, a little too breathlessly. Kara makes her want in a way she’s never wanted someone before. “Kara, why are you stopping? Please don’t stop now. Kara?”

Kara lets out a breath, and lets her forehead fall against Lena’s own. Their breaths mingle together.

“I – I _can’t_ ,” Kara whispers, and Lena feels devastated. “It hurts, to have everything I’ve always wanted so close and know that I’ll never be able to really have it.”

“You _can_ ,” Lena says, “You can have this, Kara. You can have _me_.” 

“No,” Kara’s voice breaks. “No, because I have to leave. And while I’m gone you’ll find someone else. You’ll find someone better and I’ll be left with _nothing_.“

“No,” Lena’s voice is assertive, “Just _no_.” Then. “Look at me, Kara,” Lena orders, “I mean it. Open your eyes, and look at me _._ _Really_ look at me!” Kara shakes her head, and then she feels Lena’s hand on her cheeks. Her eyes drift open to meet green. Lena is looking at her with so much intensity that Kara feels like she might very well ignite.

“How can you ever think there would be anyone else for me?” Lena asks. “How can you possibly think there could _ever be_ anyone better for me than you? You are…you are _everything_ to me.” Then. “Look, I’ll be the first to admit that it took me a while to see things for what they really are. But now that I know… now that I feel the things I feel for you that _I do_ , I can’t imagine ever going back. You’re it for me. There will not be anyone else for me. _Ever_. You’ve forever ruined me.” 

“Do you really mean that?” Kara can’t help but question.

“Of course I do,” Lena laughs. “God, Kara, you have no idea how mad at myself I am. When I think of all the time I wasted, looking for love in all of the wrong places… I didn’t even know it, when I had everything I’d ever wanted right in front of me.”

“To be fair… I missed it too,” Kara breathes, “I thought I loved Mon-El. But the truth is, I think you were always the one I couldn’t live without. If our fight from before proved anything, it’s that I wouldn’t make it without you.”

“Then don’t leave,” Lena begs her. “ _Please_. We can find another way, Kara. It's just... I can’t – I can’t be without you either.”

 _Oh oh, yeah yeah_  
_I just want you to be mine_

“Lena-“

“You’ve always said you have faith in me, “ Lena reminds her. “So please, have faith in me now. Just don’t leave… We can figure this out together. I - I _know_ _we can_.”

“You realize that you’d be putting yourself at immeasurable risk?” Kara says.

“Yes,” Lena nods.

“And you don’t care?”

“I think the one thing you forget?” Lena laughs, “Is that I am much _much_ tougher than anyone has ever given me credit for. I’ve survived just about everything you can think of, and I don’t plan on giving up now.”

“So we’re doing this?” Kara asks, needing to know Lena’s all in.

“Yeah, Darling,” Lena smiles, “We’re doing this.”

“Okay, I – “ Kara’s next breath is one of happiness, and of sadness. “I love you so much,” Kara tells her as she presses a lingering heartfelt kiss to Lena’s lips. “I’m glad that I don’t have to do this _alone_.” 

"Oh, Kara," Lena smiles. Her eyes are full of sincerity as she says, "If I have my way? You'll never have to do anything by yourself again. I will _always_ be here to help you." 

"El mayarah," Kara tells her with another sweet kiss to Lena's lips.

”El Mayarah, my love,” Lena whispers as Kara buries a face in her shoulder, and breathes her in, relaxing for the first time since being cut by the blade hours ago.

She feels relaxed. Mainly because she feels entirely safe in Lena’s arms. And because she knows that Lena will protect her at all costs. Kara just hopes that she can do the same. Because she doesn’t know what she’d do if anything ever happened to the woman she loves. 

Because one thing is for sure. Lena means _everything_ to her, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Please take a second to say a few words, if you're feeling particularly charitable. I would like to know what people think of this.
> 
> Was it a mistake posting this? Should it have stayed buried on my computer's hard drive? (Inquiring minds want to know!)


End file.
